Seven things a city girl should know before she dates a guy from the country.
1. He's not a hipster (...yet).
The first time you met him he was drinking a Pabst Blue
Ribbon and wearing a flannel shirt, a Carhartt beanie, and a pair of Red Wing
boots. It was only until you got close enough to hear what he was saying that
you realized he was talking about how he was all-conference middle line-backer
his senior year, and not discussing how Paul Thomas Anderson is America's
"most important"
filmmaker.
2. He won't get your Mean Girls quotes.
The cable company didn't have service all the way out where
he lived. In fact he barely got enough reception with the comically-sized
rabbit ears bolted to the side of his house to watch the State game on
Saturdays. The closest cinema was thirty miles from his house so he's only ever
seen three movies: The Notebook, Forest Gump, and Remember the Titans.
3. His Confederate Flag belt buckle doesn't make him a
racist (probably).
That's not actually even the confederate flag. That's the
battle flag of the army of north Virginia and the only reason he's wearing it
is because of that show Dukes of Hazzard. To him the red, white and blue
reminds of home cooked meals and good ol' boys. That being said, if he tells
you that the south will rise again, you might want to move on. Maybe not. Just
‘sayin.
4. No, he doesn't like to dance.
Or any kind of Dance. His eyes still tear up when he
remembers his middle school wrestling coaching telling him he was "lead
footed". He would be much happier lying on a picnic blanket in the bed of
his truck than being bumped into by sweaty twenty-year-olds years in a sketchy
club with the latest Diplo/Tiesto collab track blaring in his ears.
5. Only having 80 Facebook friends doesn’t mean he's a
serial killer.
His high school graduating class was only 30 people and his
principal was his best friend's grandpa. And his history teacher. And the
football coach. His social circle is tiny and he probably likes it that way.
6. Don't visit his hometown.
To you it sounds quaint and cute. You imagine big bright red
barns and sprawling pastures filled with galloping horses and grazing cows. The
reality is a run-down gas station and a diner whose only patron is a
ninety-year-old man who only stops wheezing long enough to leer at what you and
mutter to himself about "girls these days".
7. Your romantic past is longer than his.
You might’ve had thirty new matches on Tinder every day for
the last few years, but he only ever had one girlfriend before you and it was
the town scandal when the two of them didn't get married the summer after they
graduated high school.
This last one applies to guys who date girls from the
country too.
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