Dear men over forty,

Have you ever wondered why your wife/girlfriend/office romance/favorite barista and every other reasonable woman in your life reads super hot books with to-die-for heroes?

Aside from the fact that these books rock, it might be because these women miss days when a man spent more than three minutes trying to get their attention, seduce them, and get them into bed. I know, at forty+ it may seem like there isn't time to waste on sexy getting-to-know-you conversation and that split-second too-long-to-be-polite stares might not net a night of sex, but I'm here to tell you, that the night of sex you do after your effort will be much, much better if you are willing to put some time and thought in.

Contrast these approaches:

Approach A. You see a woman at a bar that you think is hot so you go right up to her. Instead of asking her name, you ask her if she has her own car there. She says yes. Then, you impress her with, "I'm a dentist because I'm good with my hands; want to go to my place? Okay if we take your car?"

Approach B. You see a woman at a bar. You think she's hot, so you stare at her. She catches you starting and stares back. But then looks away. You move around to the other side of the bar. You stare again. She catches you again, stares back a bit longer, then looks away. You repeat this two more times. You do not get impatient. Instead, you get that her being stared at is turning her on. As a mature guy, you know if she didn't think you were hot she would not stare back. Finally, when her body language tells you she'd ready to talk--shoulders facing you--you go up and say hi. You tell her your name. You ask her name. Then, you ask her something fun. Note ask - not tell. Why? She does not want to be impressed, she wants to have fun.

Since you are a man, I'll be direct. Approach B is better. Married men, you aren't off the hook. You still can and should seduce your wife, so you too are going to want to go with approach B.

It's never too late to switch it up and put some effort in. Next time a woman near you is reading something hot and looks up from the page with a misty expression and a soft sigh on her lips, remember what I told you.