The Nude Vampire by Jean Rollin

 If you're into trippy pop culture and vampires, you ought to check out French Director Jean Rollin's movies. I watched one last night, The Nude Vampire. It was in French with English dubbing.I prefer subtitles, but in this case it wouldn't have mattered much because there are about 6 sentences of dialogue.

The video clip of the opening scene gives you a pretty good idea of what you're in for.

I'm not complaining about the dialogue. But don't try to watch this while knitting or messing with your phone because you'll miss pretty much everything. Don't watch it around kids, either, because there are a lot of naked people and strange clothes. Both of which will require so much explaining that you will miss the slowly developing plotline.

Don't expect an upbeat ending. It is French. 

Do expect a surreal experience.

Suggested accompanying drink: red wine. Of course.

...another gift consideration

A Jane Austin action figure.

Jane Austin comes with a quill pen, desk, and copy of Pride and Prejudice.

Now there’s an idea many writers could get stressed about-being sealed into a tidy package with a copy of your own book. If nobody buys you, you’d be sealed in there for all eternity with only your own work to read. Over and over again.

I suppose if you had that quill and desk, you could write yourself a new one. If the ink didn’t run out, that is.

Got gifts?

Warning: this post is kind of snarky.

Earlier this month I was thinking about gifts for writers. I did what alot of my students do when they have important questions about life; I turned to about.com. 

I don’t know anything about the writers at about.com. Well, that’s not true anymore because now I know that they have an excellent sense of humor. The gift suggestions are darkly hilarious.

Among them:

A magazine subscription.

Like our desks aren’t *already* piled with words (ours and other people’s) we don’t have time to read.

Books on writing.

Don’t writers only turn to those in times of horrible desperation? When they are convinced that they only wrote something decent by accident and they will never, ever, write anything good again? They turn to the how to write books in the hope that they might find a tiny something that will help them fake their way through whatever terrible, terrible manuscript they are currently ruining with their bad, bad writing.  

Tickets to see an admired writer.

One, aren’t these things supposed to be free? Two, good God, is there anything worse than hearing someone else talk about their huge writing success? Especially when you, the gifted writer, is facing the guilt from the magazines and journals you have not read and the shame of sneeking in dark corners to discover whatever secret will enable you to keep fooling everyone that you are a writer to be admired?

Next gift suggestion: A journal filled with blank pages.

Oh yeah. That is exactly what every writer wants. A crap ton of more blank pages to fill.  ‘Nuf said.

Alright, I admit the whole list wasn’t ironically funny. The fifth item: a massage.

This sounds awesome. Especially if the masseuse  doesn’t speak English. That way they won’t ask what you do for a living, and make you remember why you need the massage so badly in the first place.